Monday, April 25, 2011

No take-backs

I just laid it all out there over at Rachel's blog. She had one of those "here's what I'm thinking, but not saying" posts and, with over 270 comments in a few days, apparently there are plenty of others out there wanting to get a thought or 12 off their chests. I am short on sewing projects to share, so instead, I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind (in a nice, revelatory way). I think most people hang out on quilting blogs for inspiration, not for philosophy or in-your-face opinions, but once in a while, it's fun to stir it up, don't you think?

Here's the comment I left for Rachel, word for word:

There are plenty of things I think about, but don't write on my blog. For instance:

*I refuse to wade in on the modern vs traditional debate. It's all quilting (as long as it has 3 layers attached by stitching) and the ongoing mudslinging and defensiveness isn't getting anyone anywhere.

*take a few minutes to figure out how to achieve a 1/4" seam on your machine? A 1/16" seam probably won't make it through it's first washing. You've invested in that fabric, sew it together well!

*why would someone post a photo of a swap item they've made with the description "these are not your colours, or your style, but what do you think partner?" I think their partner thinks "WTF, why did you make me that?"

*It is insulting to women and their work when people sell their handmade products on Etsy for little more than the fabric costs. How will we ever achieve a living wage for handmade when we give it away?

*continuing on the point above, why do we keep giving publishers our designs for free (guilty as charged). I'm not sure the 'thrill of publication' is really worth all that time and effort. Who else is willing to work for free so a publisher can profit from their creativity?

*I hope Aneela has a thick enough skin that if she lands here she'll go on to design more fun fabric for Moda. If only Moda wouldn't start marketing a year before release, people wouldn't tire of a fabric line before they can actually buy it.

*Because many of us spend hours in blogland and on Flickr, it is easy to forget that for every 1 of us doing that, there are probably 1000 quilters who don't. Some of those 1000 others might actually enjoy batiks, Thimbleberries and brown fabric. Don't judge them; they quilt for the same reasons you do!

*aside from sew mama sew giveaway days, my blogpost that got the most comments was one in which I encouraged all my readers to book a mammogram. I was shocked at how many wouldn't, and the reasons they gave.

*at 43 it's time to forget ever having a flat stomach and embrace the fact that I LOVE quilting way more than running.

*I know I'm involved in too many things (the majority of them as a volunteer) and that it is up to me, and only me, to change that if I choose to.

I'm thinking I should just copy and paste this entire comment into a blog post - now that would really be authentic, rather than hiding my secret thoughts over here on your comment thread!

Thanks for the reality check.

69 comments:

carol said...

Bravo......although I just quilt and don't have opinions on much. (You get that way the older you get.....just wait, you'll find out too!!)

Kathy P said...

Well said!

Cindy N. said...

I am 43 and have given up on the flat stomach too!! Quilting is way more enjoyable than running!!

felicity said...

Thanks for this, Krista! Maybe this blog post will be the most popular of yours now. My comment at Rachel's netted me at least one less follower - at least she took the time to email me the reason, and I don't begrudge her her opinion in the least. I appreciate the dialogue.

Cathy said...

Reality checks are a good thing! And what the heck anyway! If the quilting you choose to do makes you one happy camper then who cares if it can be labeled traditional or modern? Who needs a debate-just have fun! ANd good for you for putting it all out there!

Rachel said...

I am so glad to see that someone isn't afraid to give some opinions. Going to have to check out this Rachel's blog now....

badlandsquilts said...

A very nice well versed dose of reality...

Micmacker said...

I love your blog, and I don't think I've commented before. Ha - you're about to see why; my comments are way too lon! I read all the way through those comments on Stitched in Color, and I'm glad you re-posted here. Poor Pips, though. It frustrates me when I see loads of projects made from a fabric line months and months before it's released for general consumption (I believe my actual phrase was "regular schlubs like me"). I do like the Pips a lot, and my LQS ordered it because of me, but at this point it's hard not to feel like a bit of a sucker. It seems like the whole world has had it forever! Maybe I'll put it away for few months. Better yet, email Moda and tell them what I think of this marketing strategy. And p.s. I had a baseline mammo at 40.

Vivian said...

Thanks for saying some of the things I think too!

Now you have thinking, and typing, and then deleting and then retyping...I find a lot of the things that I keep quiet about in the quilting world I've kept quiet about in the needlework world for years as well. That's a lot of years of biting my tongue.

One thing I will say...our hobby isn't cheap. We know that going in...griping about the cost of a pattern (hello designer needs to eat too) and the expectations of freebies (really, we are spoiled by the amount of complimentary patterns out there)...really? What joy are you getting out of your quilting? Get over it. I was a freelance cross stitch designer for many years, even made the cover of the Christmas edition of a major magazine...and people still gripe about paying for the cost of the magazine...never mind buying individual patterns for over $5. Gosh I just paid $12 for several crochet patterns (Angry Birds!!) and I don't even crochet! I'm hoping someone can teach me.

Whew that felt good, no need to voice my other opinions LOL. Thanks Krista! Now I have to go check out Rachel's post, I haven't been there yet today. Hopefully I haven't stuck my foot in my mouth.

Oh wait, one last thing that is Uber-important...press well!!! It makes a difference.

Duff said...

Authenticity. You are full of it! I love your thoughtful opinions & diplomatic responses to others'. Oh wait, except the "WTF, why did you make me that?" comment. That was just hi-freaking-larious!
I read through most of the comments over at Stitched in Color and honestly, I think it's a symptom of women being taught to put forth a perfect picture of themselves and their surroundings; unfortunately, they can only keep up the facade for so long. Stitched in Color said, "hall pass! say what you want!" and the dam just blew.
Hazelnuts let off some steam earlier, too:
http://hazelnutgirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/letting-off-steam.html
p.s. I think you're a remarkable, assertive, caring woman & I love your blog!

Canadian Kristin said...

ROFL!!!
Okay, that was awesome!!! I love so many of your points and actually spit out a guffaw at my laptop (yes, spittle and all) at the "batiks, Thimbleberries and browns" comments plus a few more! Loved this post, thanks for sharing Krista!
You are an original. You are awesome. And you totally inspire me at every post! Thank you!

creativedawn said...

ROFL! It is really funny and oh thanks for writing it down. I've often wondered about the person who gets me in a block swap; reads the instructions and sends me what she made last year...lol. I'm a good sport, I take it and set it aside because now the darn block cannot be in the quilt because it is not the block or the colors I requested. But I get it, we all have our days, eh? I love all that you said and it made me laugh out loud for sure. Good for you! Oh as for speaking my mind on MY blog, I noticed that some of my followers/friends ummm, just DE-FRIENDED me....damned laughable. It reminds me of the "stepford wives" or in this case we must be" stepford quilters"....all perfect and "stuff"!

creativedawn said...

Wait, I forgot to say that I follow the block preference and colors to the letter and in most cases had to purchase more fabric because what the quilter requested was not in my stash..... WTF! Is this okay? snicker, sure what am I to do after I've tore open the package and in the very least expected the color!!!! Just saying....

Bobbi said...

i did it too and feel like a new woman! thanx for making us feel normal.

PinkGranny said...

Bravo! Well, darn...my quilt, my first big one that I just finished is a dinosaur quilt and yest it has batik prints! They are in keeping with a fossil look. It is much loved already and I finished it only 2 1/2 weeks ago!

Thanks for speaking your mind. We should do this more often. Being polite is good in theory for training young ladies but it is a royal pain when it comes to speaking up for ourselves. I wish I would have done it more long ago. Way to Go!

quiltmom said...

Hi Krista,
I love coming to see what you are up to in your corner of blogland.
I happen to love batiks but I know others that don't - everybody is entitled to collect the fabrics they love to make quilts.Its funny when you love something one expects that others feel the same. The older I have gotten, the more I recognize its okay to be different. Buy what you like and quilt the kinds of quilts you like- the world is big enough for us all to express our ideas through different forms of quiltmaking.
I think that one should write about whatever one feels comfortable about writing in their blog. People read the ones that they like and comment or don't comment on the pieces.
Blogging should be fun and enjoyable for the writer and the reader.
I don't mind people making a comment that raises a difference of opinion but I am old fashioned enough to believe that its not my right to be offensive about it.
I wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed looking at the Intuitive Color book by Jean Wells. Thanks for suggesting it- I like looking at her process of creating.
Regards,
Anna

traceyjay said...

is it wrong that so many of these made me laugh out loud... I think mostly because I could "hear" you saying them. :)

I thought Rachel's post was so tame too... and yet so true! I didn't expect a tither over it. :)

Anyway -- so glad we've met! :)

Right now my list is -- you know, the reality is that I'm growing a baby, and it's OK if I'm not sewing a million things... and have no clue what's going on in most of blog land.

pinksuedeshoe said...

Insulting to women to sell your handmade goods for the cost of fabric. For reals. Going to check out this Rachel girl and see what I can say that I would never say!

Jessica said...

I'm glad you posted your comment on your blog. It was entertaining. I especially like your point about publication - I'm going through a similar internal argument, not over patterns or designs but with my writing. Thanks for sharing!

nicolette said...

Thanks for your wonderful post!

I love the WTF comment cause it’s what I experienced and therefore I prefer private swaps.

I’m a quilter and blogger for 4 years and so much has changed. Being inspired by quilters is good, but there are so many copycats out there. It’s a shame to see so few people have a taste of their own in choosing fabrics and patterns.

Live a Colorful Life said...

See, I KNEW there was a reason why I read ever single one of your posts! and I just blogged on things I'm not going to apologize for! Including my stash of batiks.

Jackie said...

Great post! I agree on all points too. We are supposed to be having fun because we love it... no quilt police here. BTW, who is publishing there patterns without being paid? Wow, that is an eye opener and why would they do that?

Amy said...

How funny. I am enjoying reading all these confessions. I don't feel like I have much of consequence to add!

Kristie said...

People resist booking mamograms? Really? How odd.....

Regina said...

What a good post. I'm shocked over your mention about the mammograms. I'm bad, bad, bad and still need to book an appointment with my doc to have one done especially since another friend was diagnosed last week. :( It is definitely on my to do list I can't imagine why anyone would refuse.

I will confess that when someone wants something I make I sell it for what it cost me to make BUT I would never set up an etsy shop and do that. I only do it because I never feel that my work is worthy of being paid for. I chalk it up to practice and leave it at that.

Jodi said...

Excellent post, Krista! And I love quilting, (self-expressive therapy) way more than yard work, which is bugging my hubby now that spring is here! Ha! Better find a better balance, I guess, to keep HIM happy.

Helen said...

thanks for posting this post. I left a comment on what I don't say. Spend about 20 minutes writing it all down and I have to conclude it is now somewhere in cyber space as I don't see my comment on 'Stitched in Color'. I enjoyed reading all the confessions. Amazingly 300 people left a comment and it doesn't stop there. Another 25 have left a comment on your blog.

Rachel Hauser said...

Good for you keepin it real on your blog! And I loved what you said about how everyone quilts for the same reasons, so we owe each other respect and love.

paulette said...

WOW!! Who knew?? Well done! I loved all your comments...but would like to add a couple!
-I hate MUSIC on blogs...won't read them! I click off immediately. For one thing they give me a heart attack and I DON'T want to listen...I might have the TV on or my own music OR I may want silence!! MY choice!!
-I don't buy patterns that are a million dollars!! For one thing it ticks me off that the designer would think that their pattern is worth THAT much!! I mean really...who is going to buy them?? With the price of fabric...yadayada..well you know where I am going!!
Thanks I needed that!! Ahhhhhhhh
Paulette

Jennifer said...

I love every one of these! Good for you for being "real"... although you struck me as a real person even before this post.

Jennifer :)

Andrea C said...

Awesome! Very well said. Sounds like that has been building up for a while ;0) I only wish I had time to read this last night but I can't complain...I was piecing batiks at the time.

Krista said...

Yay for honesty! And good for you for standing up for the Pips. I'm with the others who were disappointed that they were so overused before they were available, but that doesn't mean that Aneela didn't do some awesome designing.

I've read through all of the comments on Rachel's post and there are some very valid rants on there. I think I'll be keeping my thoughts to myself though!

Why Not Sew? said...

great post!

Susanne said...

I enjoyed Rachel's post. I didn't read all of the comments--a skimmed a few.

I think the big thing behind a post like Rachel's and this is not to take it personally. I think when we make it personal (about *ME*) we completely discredit what the person as said as their own "personal" truth. Just because some one says it, doesn't mean it has to become a universal truth, ya know? : )

Cheers!

Graciela said...

I usually never comment on blogs and I'm sure i've never commented on yours, but I just want to tell you that even though I did enjoy your post today, one of the reasons I visit your blog so often (and I don't even quilt, I just sew) is that you don't blast off, get emotional about things and don't share TOO much about yourself like so many other blogs. The good thing (and rare thing) about your blog is that you share information and ideas and are even inspirational without getting us all too involved in your life. It's nice to hear from you without having to be your best friend.

Dianne said...

Great Post Krista! I like the "whatever floats your boat" philosophy. If what you do makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone who am I to suggest that is less than wonderful? It may not suit my taste but it wasn't made for me so what I think doesn't really matter.
Thank goodness there are different tastes and styles and thank goodness quilting has evolved through the ages! Otherwise - BORING!! I'm sure if we went far enough back in time we would find women who were shocked beyond belief to know that somewhere women were making something other than whole cloth quilts - what were they thinking???!!! BTW your thoughts are spot on, a couple of them made me LOL :0)

Amber said...

Ha ha - I loved the one about posting the photo of a swap item and the description...that always makes me think - why did you make it if it's not your partner's style...it isn't for you!
I was in a block swap and in my description wrote I did not like batik fabrics - 3 of the blocks I got back were all made with batiks :-)
And I loved the bit about giving our work away for free to publishers - what is that about anyway? They make money on the magazines and book s- can't they pay their contributors a bit more?

Crazy Amy said...

awesome!

Poppyprint said...

Graciela - I can't reply to your comment, so I'll do so here. Thank you very much for taking the time to share your thoughts about my blog and why you visit. It is nice to know why people visit and what they enjoy on blogs! I'm trying not to be hurt that you don't want to be my best friend, though. (kidding) I get it!

Camilla said...

Heh, I have the opposite peeve about patterns; the assumption that a pattern can or should be monetized pisses me off. I resent the expectation that patterns are necessary, or that a photo plus middle school math is a moral wrong.

Lynne (Lily's Quilts) said...

I was too shy to write on Rachel's post that I like to ride horses backwards so I will quietly write it here and hope that no-one notices and outs me.

rubyslipperz said...

I jesss wanna leave a comment...well, because I hate to feel left oudda da "party"
Okay so, imho:
1) I like your blog!
2) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion...
it's just nice if they try to be careful not
to hurt others feelings
3) I'm opininated. But, I prefer to be outspoken
in my own leeetle circle of friends (the ones
that will take me with a whole pound of salt)
4) On my blog...I like to try to stay fun and
positive. So many bad things in the world.
I try to stay positive, with a half-full cup

5) thanks for letting me be opinionated here..=)

hugZ,
annie
rubyslipperz106.blogspot.com

Angela {fussycut} said...

love this. :)

Shari said...

Well said Krista. Sounds like you'd fit right in with my circle of friends - every quilter's style to suite herself with love and laughter and a bit of chocolate and wine.

happy zombie said...

Your comment was the only comment that compelled me to comment - so I'm glad you posted it on your blog so I could comment! I love your positive, kind, smart and humorous words. Well said, well said!

ayumills said...

Love you, Krista! It's so comforting to know that you've said some stuff for me!

Kerry said...

I ready your thoughts at Rachel's blog and you made me laugh and nod my head!

Natalie Lymer said...

Love it Krista, Love it!

CaraQuilts said...

Love it!
I'm guilty of giving away patterns, and I'm a bit conflicted by it. I think it's gotten to a point where more and more people don't buy patterns because they can find something for free.
I've actually had quilters say that. I don't buy patterns because I can find something like it etc for free.
Makes me nervous about the whole industry.

Lily Boot said...

Awesome! I especially love your bit about different tastes in fabric - I used to work in a big quilt store with a fabric range for everybody and it was a great reality check every week to see the wonderful quilts that people brought in and were so thrilled with that were made in fabrics I would never even consider. What's more, I would then help them choose their border fabrics and binding etc. and it was such a pleasure to share their creativity and passions. And I'm totally with you on the pricing of handmade goods - I've just watched Zetigeist - and their reference to the $4,000 handbag that cost $15 to make made me cringe. Now that's weird!!!

Anonymous said...

THERE ARE ONLY 3 THINGS I HATE ABOUT ANYONE, QUILTER OR NOT..1- A HYPOCRITE IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING NASTY TO SAY DONT PREVENT OTHERS FROM DOING THE SAME 2- A PERSON WHO SENSORS ANOTHER S OPINION WITH THEIR BULL-CRAP "POLITICAL CORRECT" SH----T 3- A QUILTER WHO THINKS THEY INVENTED SOMETHING FROM QUILTING WHICH HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT. PEOPLE WHO DON'T CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE

julia said...

what a well written post - it includes so many of my own thoughts which came to my mind when the whole debate startet.
i especially resonate with # 1,2,4,5,7.
as to #3: i have written something like that on my sneaky peeeks of swap items - but only to distract my (secret) partner that it is for her! i'd never make something for my swap partners that i "know" is not their style :)
julia

Helen said...

"WTF, why did you make me that?" LOL, so true! Or more like "WTF, that is crap, don't send it to me!" *sigh* I read Rachel's post but didn't comment. I'll just keep on sewing. The one thing that I have noticed in blog land and flickr lately, nothing is original. They think it hasn't been done before or are trying to pretend it hasn't, but it has. I came over here to tell you I have posted a photo on my blog of something I spotted in the water this morning, just for you!!! x

Mama Spark said...

I loved this post, Krista. You said a lot of things the rest of us are thinking. I esp liked the WTF why did you make it for me. It cracked me up!! Soooo true! I also liked the "don't judge them" part. I think that's the part that bugs me the most. I read a blog where they were talking about how everyone "should" do this or that and I thought who are you to tell anyone else what they should aspire to? REALLY?? We should all do what we like and we all should encourage each other and that's what we SHOULD be doing!! Thanks for the great post!!

marcella said...

I'll be glad when all this bra burning blows over. I thought it had died weeks ago and here it all is again.

I'm sure Aneela has no problem with Moda publicizing her fabrics a year in advance. After all, she does it herself with sneak peeks on her own blog. So why are you whining for her?

There's always something to gripe about, but I love quilting. I love reading quilting blogs (like yours) and seeing what great stuff people are creating. There's never enough time for all that.

mascanlon said...

Monica sent me....I'll be back. I stopped doing swaps years ago...to many WTF packages. And my sewing time is way too limited to use it on someone who doesn't have respect for me. And although I don't blog I often comment, I appreciate the time and effort everyone takes to write and photograph and share.

Meg said...

Very well said.

sparklesax said...

Amen for being paid a living wage for work! I'd love for the Fair Trade movement to be a part of the crafting world. Something for me to work on. (found you via Happy Zombie)
and good for you for standing up and to the trolls and bullies of the sewing world.

Little Miss Shabby said...

I loved this post Krista! Well said!

Lisa D. said...

What a great post! Thanks for providing so much food for thought.

The Calico Cat said...

Patterns - I'm conflicted. I agree with a living wage, but I don't need to buy the Bento Box pattern to figure out how to make that quilt. (Lucky for me, most of the types of quilts that I would like to make can be drafted on graph paper.)

Sarah@PingsAndNeedles said...

Lovely Post Krista!

Heidi said...

Great post! I agree with each and every word!

Jeanette said...

Well said & yes i've given up on the flat stomach. Quilting gives me way more pleasure than exercise. Happy Stitching

oversewn said...

Such a fab post!! And yes, sewing is more fun than exercise!!

the Campfollower said...

Good heaven I am out of the loop. A 1/4 inch seam is very important, and quilting is so very much better than running. I never jiggle when I quilt.

I am going to go research and try to figure out where all this fury originated. Have a great day Krista!

Marianne said...

I've been really out of the loop. I just saw a post of Aneela's yesterday that prompted me to go find out what all this was about and as I was reading the comments on Rachel's blog I read your comment and I thought that it just put the whole online quilting community and everything I was thinking/feeling about it into perspective (especially the part about swapping). Thanks for your smart and real words.

Bearpawquilter said...

Glad you got all that off your chest and you probably felt better afterward. I agree with all of it.
I want to insert my own little pet peeve. Being a retired teacher of primary students, I taught hundreds of children to read over the years and probably notice mistakes when I read more than the average reader. I really wish bloggers (not you particularly) and commenters would proof their writing before sending it off. Not so much on yours that I have noticed. Maybe a mild one now and then. Do bloggers want to hear about corrections? I don't want to hurt feelings. One blog I read uses "anyways" - my all time favorite peeve. I don't know if that is a regional thing or not but I have seen it a lot.
I tend to read a whole blog that I like and continue to be a follower. I started reading yours several days ago (in backward order, wacky I know) and I have been aware of you for a while through some of the others. I wish I could go to lots of retreats like you do. Our guild has one a year - travel on a member's fishing boat to a lodge on the other side of the island. Usually three days, this year four days. Heaven! No husbands, no kids, no pets, no cooking, no housework. We usually do some blocks for a service quilt while there. I suggested the scrappy trip one for this year.
Loved your projects so far expecially the Kona solids with the quilted circles - very striking!
I will be keeping on back to the beginning of time and be a follower. (from Alaska) N

Bearpawquilter said...

I just spent several days wading through all 480some comments on Rachel's post last night and all I can say is "WOW!". Here is one thing I want to say loud and clear. PROOF YOUR COMMENTS PEOPLE! And proof your blog posts, too. Although you are not a huge offender, Krista. The word anyway does not have an 's' at the end. Turn off auto correct - it can do weird things to your typing without you knowing it. I've been quilting for about 11 years now and here is my list.
- My second quilt had lots of triangles in the pattern. Big mistake. I should have stuck to squares and rectangles for a while. It was my humility quilt. Donated the top to my guild's service quilts. They finished it up and it turned out okay.
- I made several of those quilt of the month projects from Walmart at the beginning of my career. They gave me lots of experience with not a lot of investment.
- I felt like I couldn't buy expensive LQS fabric until I got better at it. I'm much better at it now and don't hesitate to buy good fabric.
- Our local Walmart doesn't carry fabric anymore - made me mad. We live on an island - no Joanns. Who is going to pay over $10/yd. to make a Halloween costume?
-I didn't like the modern look at first (white sashing). Now that I have been reading blogs for about a year, I love it. I just got through making three tops, one with Essex linen background and two with white sashing. Getting ready for a possible new grandchild.
- I have so many project ideas bookmarked on my ipad, I don't think I willl live long enough to make them all.
-I would rather sew than cook or do housework. I have become very good at ignoring balls of drifting golden retriever hair.
-I'm just like anyone else - making quilt tops is the most fun part. After that I get stalled. But I do enjoy hand sewing binding.
-I didn't know much about designers and fabric lines until I started reading blogs. Didn't notice that some lines were hyped so long before available. Not everybody likes everything. That's why having such a variety is so great. Something for everyone.
-Who cares if people's bare feet are in the pictures? I'm not looking at the feet - I'm looking at the quilt.
-I am thinking of starting a blog but I want to know more about all the sponser stuff and the money making and what are the pitfalls.
-Do the bloggers that have a fabric line come out really do the drawings, designs, coloring or do the artists that work for the fabric companies do that and the person just gives an approval? How does that all work?
Sorry about the book. I think that is all I have on my list.
I will say it again -- PROOF YOUR COMMENTS AND POSTS!!! N